Looking For Her Fire
by Stephanielaugh
Summary: The summary of how Peeta & Katniss fell back together. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Too Many Nightmares

_The ripping, tearing, screaming… it was so vivid in my mind. Her eyes flashed once in the darkness.. and then I awoke screaming._

But there weren't any arms to comfort me… not tonight. I had closed myself off from him.. Afraid to let myself love.

I rose from my bed, my clothes damp across my frail body… After Prim's death I stopped functioning. She, my little duck…. taken from me so quickly.

I think that was one of the reason's I was afraid to love… everyone I had loved for so long was taken from me. Prim, Finnick, even Boggs. I loved them all in their own special way, and now they were gone.

I walked down the stairs, they creaked slightly under my weight and made my way to the kitchen. It was still such a luxury for me to make a warm kettle of tea using our stove.

I pushed the window curtain to the side and saw that the light in Peeta's house was still blazing.

What time could it be? At least after midnight.. yet he was awake.

I quickly brushed the thought of Peeta staying up late because he was with another woman out of my mind.

He wasn't ready for that, still had enough of a problem believing that in his life in District 12 wasn't a lie.

That our relationship wasn't a lie.

I poured myself a hot cup and settled into the hard wooden chair. I glanced up when I noticed that the light in Peeta's house had gone dark.

Suddenly I felt something rise up in me, the need not to feel alone… mainly I was afraid to go back to bed.. afraid that I would be haunted by Rue's eyes.

I walked silently to the door and slid on a pair of slippers.

Closing the door behind me, I walked across the crunchy grass, pulling my robe tighter against me.

I stood outside of Peeta's house staring at the doorknob.

What had come over me?

I wanted to go in, but was afraid.

When did the girl on fire become afraid?

I stood there for what seemed like hours, although I'm sure it was just minutes before I gained the courage to put my hand on the cold copper knob.

I turned it slightly, and almost laughed out loud when I discovered it was unlocked.

It was almost like he was asking me to come… that or he didn't care if anyone in District 12 broke into his house.

I slid silently into the dark house—suddenly feeling like a burglar.

I had been in Peeta's house thousands of times, and the layout was very similar to mine.

I knew he would probably be upstairs, so I climbed as quietly as possible to the top.

When I reached the top of his stairs I noticed the door to his bedroom was open.

Staring at me from the windowsill in his bedroom was a pair of intense blue eyes.

"Katniss?"


	2. Streaming Sunlight

"Peeta I…" my words failed me. I felt stupid standing in his house… breaking into his house is more like it.

I heard his feet hit the floor as he slid off the window sill. He silently made his way over to me… his blue eyes never leaving mine.

I once again tried to speak, but I couldn't find anything to say.

What was supposed to happen? For me to say "Sorry I broke into your house Peeta, I had a nightmare."

I was stopped by my thoughts when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me close to him. I was about to protest, tell him I was sorry for intruding, and that I needed to go back home when my nose cradled into his neck.

There was something about his smell, his warmth that made me feel like everything in my life was going to be okay. That the pain, the nightmares, the memories would be okay.

"I'm sorry" I whispered into his hair.

He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms tighter around me. It was the embrace that we had been missing, the bond that was Peeta and I.

I suddenly felt foolish for locking him out of my life for so long.

He pulled back slightly, and in the dim moonlight I could make out his facial features.

"Please don't leave." He whispered softly.

I shook my head, felt tears stinging my eyes.

Why was I getting so upset?

He grabbed my hand and led me quietly into the bedroom.

I knew tonight would not be a night of talking and kisses… just one of comfort and need.

We lay quietly on the bed, and he pulled the covers over us.

"Stay with me"

I nodded my head as I felt the warmth and security surround me.

"Always"

The sunlight streaming in from the window caused me to stir.

The first thing I noticed was a strong pair of arms holding me. I was pressed into his chest… the faint smell of dough and cologne enveloping me.

His eyes flashed open suddenly, and for a moment I was afraid he wouldn't remember that he had invited me into his bedroom last night.

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw his eyes crinkle in a smile.

"No nightmares?"

I shook my head, letting some of my hair fall into my face.

"You're like my own personal shield against them."

I nuzzled closer to him, not afraid to show him how much I really did need him as a shield. How much I really needed just someone in my life.

One of his hands lifted off of my back to stroke my unbraided, unkempt hair.

We lay like this for hours, just enjoying each other's company… no one saying much, or doing much. Just enjoying the warmth that we had both been deprived of for so long during these harsh winter months.

I guess I had dozed off, because when I woke again the bed was empty.

I felt a sting of cold panic run through me… and wondered if Peeta had changed his mind about what had happened with us overnight and into the morning.

I sat up, and realized the robe which I had originally laid down in was folded neatly in a chair on the other side of the room.

I was left in just a thin tank-top, and a pair of shorts.

As I was crossing the room to retrieve my robe, I caught the smell of bacon sizzling from the kitchen.

I pulled my robe on tightly, and crept down the stairs.

The site of Peeta in the kitchen, wearing an apron and carefully folding bacon into some type of sandwich warmed my heart.

He looked up and flashed me a genuine smile, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you… you seemed at peace, and I figured you'd be hungry when you woke up."

I laughed quietly, "You didn't have to cook for me."

"Sure I didn't, but I wanted to… plus who doesn't love bacon?"

I smiled as he handed me a plate and joined him at the table.

I glanced out the window and noticed that it seemed to be brighter than it usually is at this time in the morning.

"What time is it?"

He glanced down, "2:45."

"2:45! Peeta! Why did you let me sleep so late?"

"Says the girl that crawls into bed with me past 3 in the morning… you needed to sleep, so I let you sleep."

He shook his head at me as he took a bite of his sandwich, "When's the last time you had a decent night's sleep anyway?"

I scoffed at him "I did not crawl into bed with you."

He smiled and tipped his head at me encouraging me to take a bite of my sandwich.


	3. Effie Trinkett

I shook my head slightly as I crossed the grassy pathway between our houses… it was almost comical, the interaction between us both.

I didn't notice the door was slightly ajar because for a while I had thoughts of complete happiness… something that was still so strange for me, and would consume my thoughts.

On a normal day I would have noticed my door open, and even noticed the bright pink wig illuminating my dark house from the kitchen table.

But I didn't… she definitely noticed me.

"Katniss Everdeen! Have you forgotten your manners?"

I screeched to a halt and noticed that Effie Trinkett had made herself home at my kitchen table. She was nursing a cup of steaming tea.

"Effie!"

I walked swiftly into the kitchen, for an instant my hands itched for my bow… I shook away the feeling and reassured myself that it was just my flamboyant friend from the capitol, and nothing more.

"Katniss, how lovely to see you… in such" she paused and ran her eyes up and down my length "such lovely attire."

"Oh enough Effie, why are you in my house?"

She ruffled her outfit, an annoyed face crossing her features "To simply let you know that you'll soon have a guest from District 2 visiting you."

She stopped and stared at me, for a moment I thought she was about to stomp her foot.

"Don't you read any of the letters I send you? As your advisor, It's required for me to be here when an official summons comes your way."

I shook my head, "An official summons? Since when?"

"Katniss" she prolonged my name, "He contacted me, said that he wanted ME to be here when he arrived."

I ran through anyone I knew in District 2, the only person I could think of was… "Gale?... Gale is coming?"

"Of course he is! Goodness you don't read anything I send you!"

I stood silent for a moment, why would Gale want Effie to be here when he arrived?

"That's all I have for now… but you should, eh... Put more clothes on."

I smiled, "Sorry Effie, I was with Peeta."

The shocked expression on her face was all I needed to help myself get ready for the day, and a visit from my old friend.

* * *

"Why did he summon her?" Haymitch pointed at Effie's pink wig with a look of both disgust and wonder.

"I really have no clue."

We sat around my dining room table, as Effie made herself busy in the living room… she was tidying, and cleaning…something I didn't even know she was capable of.

Haymitch noticed her weird behavior right away, "something is strange with that one… Effie doesn't have to raise a hand unless she has to… and now she's cleaning your place."

"Yeah… it's all very strange."

I looked up as the front door opened, Peeta walked in carrying cheese buns. He dropped them when he saw Effie, and his face instantly contorted in rage.

"YOU!"

"Peeta, No!"

Haymitch ran and tackled him as Peeta attempted to lash out at the now frightened Effie who was standing on my couch like Peeta was an insect she needed to stay away from.

Haymitch managed to take Peeta out the front door; all the while he was screaming obscenities about the capitol, about mutts.

He was having another episode, and it was hard for me to watch without memories flooding back to me.

I subconsciously rubbed my throat, vividly remembering when I was the victim of one of Peeta's attacks.

I felt cold again all over, wishing that I had never left Peeta's house, wishing we were still curled up in the safety of his arms.

Instead, Haymitch was dragging a panting, furious Peeta across the lawn, and back into the safety of his house.

"This is why Gale is coming to visit you I'm sure! Peeta can't be trusted Katniss!"

I turned swiftly to see Effie managing her way off the couch and back onto the floor… she saw the anger in my eyes, and her annoyance quickly softened.

"It's not that I don't love Peeta, Katniss.. I'm just worried.. I don't want anything to happen to either of you."

I laughed, a bitter sound escaping my throat "What you don't realize Effie, is that everything has already happened to us…. Everything."

* * *

I hope you guys enjoy!


	4. Regaining Her Fire

Effie obviously wasn't staying with me in my Victor's home, so when she left I wasn't surprised. She left me with some little trinkets, patted my head and told me to expect Gale soon. She would be back in the morning, where she was staying… I had no idea.

Haymitch had come back earlier in the day to tell me not to expect to see Peeta again tonight. He had resorted to a little violence to get Peeta to settle down. He says some of the Tracker poison led Peeta to believe that Effie had vindictively pulled Peeta's name out of the bowl during the 74th Hunger Games.

The poison had basically blamed Effie for every injury he had suffered since the games began.

"Katniss"

I jumped at the sound of my name; I had been completely engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn't even heard the door open.

"Real, or not real… Effie made everything painful and bad happen to me?"

"Not real, Peeta… definitely not real."

He shook his head and moved to sit down with me at the kitchen table. He sheepishly held up a bag and handed it to me.

I opened it to find the now mangled cheese buns.

"Sorry their presentation isn't nice as it was before."

I smiled as I grabbed a mangled piece and popped it into my mouth… "It still tastes just as good."

He smiled slightly and then his face turned serious once more, "Why was it she here anyway?"

His lips twitched slightly as the thought of her, I knew he was controlling the Hijacking as much as he could.

"She was here to tell me Gale is coming to visit."

"Gale? I thought he moved to District 2 to take some nice job?"

"Well, he has… but I think he is coming on entirely different reasons."

I heard a soft mew from the corner of the room, and glanced up to see butter cup strolling toward us. Ever since he had come back, I had a strange but comforting relationship with him.

I patted his head and placed a few crumbs of the cheese bun on the floor for him.

"What reasons are those?" Peeta said quietly, turning back to our conversation.

I wasn't sure I wanted to tell him what Effie had said while she was screeching from on top of the couch, but the words tumbled out before I could stop them.

"She thinks Gale is coming because he's worried about you and me… that you could be dangerous."

Before he could say anything I quickly added… "If I know Gale it's because he's coming back for a visit, and just wanted to say hi."

A quiet "hmph" escaped Peeta, but he remained silent.

"Peeta, it's not like I had a say in the matter."

He suddenly grabbed my hand and looked at me with those startling blue eyes… "You know, I would never hurt you."

My mind quickly recalled when he _had _actually hurt me…. But that was the hijacking, not my Peeta.

I ran my thumb along his hand in a reassuring gesture, "I know that."

My mind flashed briefly to all the times Peeta had saved me, pretending to betray me, just so he could protect me from the Careers in the first Hunger Games. In ways he had saved me with his passion… with those long nights of comforting each other. With his lips.

I shook my head and felt the hot sting of a blush creeping its way through. Peeta gazed at me curiously

"Is it warm in here?" He asked me innocently.

I croaked out a response… "Yeah, I'm going to open a window."

A knock on the door sent my heart racing… was Gale already here? Before I could even think or move, I watched as Peeta made his way to the door.

"Wait… Peeta, I can.."

I was stopped by the familiar sound of Greasy Sae… relief flooded my features as Peeta ushered the older woman inside.

She looked my way and glanced between Peeta and me, I could tell she wanted to say something, but bit her tongue.

"I brought Haymitch some food, and I wanted to see if you wanted some too."

Greasy Sae had been taking care of me for the longest time, especially during my time of darkness when I couldn't even function except to use the bathroom.

I nodded and she walked out of the door and came back with a full kettle.

"It's room temperature now, so you might want to leave it on the stove for a while."

She helped me warm the soup back up, and I passed around the crumbled bread. The meal of her specialty, surprise soup and cheese bread warmed my soul, and my heart.

It made me remember that things were slowly starting to fall back into place… and that I would soon regain my fire.

I sat back in the chair and laughed with my friends, Peeta glanced over at me throughout the night… the passion returning to his eyes every time I returned his smile, or when we would accidentally brush each other's skin.

It was times like these that I never wanted to end. I would just have to tell Gale that I was happy, Peeta was my friend… and everyday became something more to me. He was my shield, my protector, and even though he had moments where he had to be restrained because of the Hijacking, he was the main reason I wanted to make my way out of the gloom…. I just didn't know how to tell him, and was afraid of my own feelings.


	5. Wake Up Call

Peeta didn't stay with me that night, too afraid he might have another episode. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, when I was alone it was easier to push my feelings off to the side, to try and forget what his strong arms felt like while they were wrapped around my torso in the early morning hours.

* * *

I shook my head and re-fluffed my pillow, being alone meant the nightmares would surely come. I took in a deep breath, and steadied myself until sleep found me.

It was similar to dreams I've had in the past—Rue's eyes watching me, either from a Jabberjay, or from the body of a mutated mutt. Tonight the visions switched between Rue and Prim, each disguised as a capitol mutt, with gnawing teeth and blood.

Then the dream changed, and Prim turned into just Prim… her beautiful golden hair, braided back similar to the day of the reaping. She was laughing and waving to me, but she wouldn't let me get close enough for me to embrace her.

I screamed her name as tears streamed down my face, but she just kept waving and smiling at me like she wanted to come over—but couldn't.

A sense of calm took over me, she was happy and safe… and was trying to let me know.

I woke up, and almost screamed when I felt someone else beside me in bed. I started to sit straight up when I felt his arms tug me back down to reality.

"I'm sorry, I guess I should have let you know I was coming."

"Peeta! You should be glad I wasn't armed!'

I turned to face him, and saw that he had a slight smile on his face, I shoved at his arms with enough force for him to laugh out loud.

"You said you weren't coming!"

"I am very convincing aren't I?"

He shook his head, "At first I didn't think I would come, but then after last night… I realized I was tired of not waking up next to you."

I started to say something when he cut me off, "It used to be that we found comfort in each other, which we still do… but Katniss, I feel now that I can't sleep unless your next to me."

I wanted to tell him I felt the same way, that I was tired of the nightmares, but the only thing I could say was "I think when you laid down with me, my dream turned from a nightmare into something…" I stopped trying to think of the right word "Wonderful."

My eyes teared up slightly at the thought of Prim reaching out to me, to let me know she was okay.

He laid back on the bed, and held his arm out to me, I obliged and slipped into the crook of his arm.

"I feel safe."

"That's all I want for you."

With that we both drifted off to sleep, the images of Rue and Prim dancing together in a meadow filling my dreams.

I woke the next morning with a feeling of complete bliss that I _know_ was attributed to Peeta.

He was already wake, and stroking my hair, "It's not even past 8:00, so you can't be mad at yourself today."

I chuckled and nudged his side. He playfully nudged me back, and then it broke out into a full fledge tickle fest.

Complete childlike giddiness – sometimes a little dose is good for the soul.

I was just about to get up and run away when Peeta tackled my small frame and pinned me down on the bed.

He had a smile on his face, so I knew it wasn't another attack—the look in his eye however, was completely new to me, and caused a sensation of feelings to run rampant throughout my body.

I stared back at him, enjoying the comfortable weight of his body on top of me.

His hands skimmed my forehead, pushing away strands of hair. I reached up to stroke his chin, when his lips caught my hand slightly.

"Peeta."

That was all I needed to say for him to lean down and press his lips lightly against mine.

I was not prepared for the hunger that I felt on the beach to return to me so swiftly… but it did, and I opened my mouth to let more of him in.

He deepened the kiss slightly, and I felt more of his weight collapse on my body.

I made a sound of pure delight when I heard the door to my bedroom open. I then heard a shriek, some laughter, and cursing.

Peeta slid off me as fast as he could, and we both looked up to see Effie, Haymitch and Gale standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Gale" it came out in a rushed whisper, but he had already seen enough.

He turned to walk down the stairs, I frantically looked at Peeta whose face was completely unreadable.

"I guess you should go and speak with him."

Haymitch, having no shame at all, came and sat with us on the bed, winking and nudging Peeta. I shot him a nasty look, but he didn't seem to notice.

Effie was pacing the hallway, and I figured it would be a while before she would be able to calm herself down long enough to form a sentence.

"I was told by this one" Haymitch cocked his head toward Peeta who was now sitting on the side of the bed. "That you were alone tonight in bed."

"I was, well for a while."

"Ah.. well that was the whole point of the surprise, Gale said he wanted to be the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes…. I guess he saw more than he bargained for."

"We weren't doing… much, Haymitch."

"Whatever you say sweetheart, if I were you I'd go chase your friend… he doesn't seem in the best of moods."

I turned to Peeta once more, but was greeted with silence.

"I guess I should."

Thanks everyone! I would love some reviews, just to see if you guys are enjoying the fic so far.

Thanks again, and enjoy! I'm slightly obsessed with updating.


	6. I Could Make You Happy

I rushed down the stairs to find Gale in the study, he was fiddling with the journal I had made to preserve my memories of my loved ones that had died in the uprising.

"Lots of memories in this book."

I didn't say anything, just watched as he walked around the room, softly touching things that I had a strong memory of… including my father's hunting jacket.

He held it up and turned around to face me, "Don't hunt much do you?"

"Gale, I… I haven't come to grips with a lot of things lately."

I stopped and attempted to turn around the conversation, "Why did you come to visit me anyway?"

He laughed, the sound harsh, and unlike my best friend "What, I'm not allowed to come see you anymore?"

"You know that's not what I meant. I just haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, I see that things have changed around here. Do you guys live together now?"

He nodded his head toward the ceiling, indicating my bedroom where Peeta was most likely still in.

"No we don't live together."

We both turned at the sound of Peeta's voice, I guess that would be a no on still being in the bedroom.

Peeta turned and looked directly at me, "Katniss, I'll give you guys some time to catch up."

He hesitated for a moment, and then walked toward me, planting a single light kiss on my lips.

"I'll see you later."

With that he walked out of the study, I stood silent until I heard the front door close behind him.

Gale was watching me curiously, a look on his face that I couldn't read.

"So that's what it takes huh?"

I was about to shut him off, tell him to change the subject, and for us to catch up like old times, when he quickly closed the space between us, grabbed the back of my head gently, and kissed me full on the mouth.

My mind reeled at the shock, sure I've kissed Gale dozens of times before, but this time things felt… wrong.

I pushed away lightly, but we stayed forehead to forehead, both of us breathing a little heavier than usual.

"I came here to tell you that I miss you… I want you to come back with me to District 2."

When I didn't say anything he continued, "I wanted Effie to be here because she may be able to talk a little sense into you. I don't like leaving you here with someone who's unstable."

"He's not unstable Gale, he just has some issues… he was hijacked by the capitol! What do you expect him to do?"

He pulled back giving us more space, "It's not his fault, I've never blamed him. I even like the guy, but I don't want to see you get hurt."

I shook my head, trying to find the right words to say… I was already so hurt inside, I would never be the same hunting partner that Gale had come to love and trust, I was different now. I had seen friends and loved ones die.

I was the Mockingjay, yet everyone felt this need to protect me, wasn't I supposed to be the one protecting everyone else?

Gale spoke first, "I'm not asking you to make any rash decisions, I just want you to know my feelings."

He looked toward the doorway of the study, "I have a few things I want to do while I'm here… but first."

He dug through his pocket and produced a silver looking piece of paper, "This is a train ticket to district two, you just have to come, I'll wait for you every day."

He started walking toward the doorway, and turned around once more "I could make you happy."

"I've never doubted that for a minute Gale."

For the first time during his visit, a genuine smile crossed his features, "Thanks for that."

I smiled back at him and watched as he made his way out of the study, and out the front door.

After I was sure he was out of the house, I slumped against the wall in the study, and this is not how I was hoping for things to pan out.

I woke up to the sensation of someone gently pushing my shoulders, I looked up to see Peeta looking down at me, concern in his eyes.

"Why are you sleeping on the floor?"

I looked around and realized I had drifted off to sleep in a crouched position in the study. He extended a hand and helped me to my feet.

"I definitely didn't mean to." I said while rubbing my shoulders. I hurt all over from being in such an uncomfortable position.

"Let's get you into a warm bath."

"Peeta…" I raised my eyebrows at him, asking him exactly what he was suggesting.

"I didn't mean both of us." He laughed and led me up the stairs. I sat on the bed gazing at him while he filled up my claw foot tub, and dumped an unusually large amount of bubbles into the water.

He beckoned for me to join him and turned his back.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

He nodded his head, "Yep, I would suggest you get in the tub before the water cools."

I double checked to make sure he couldn't peak and quickly threw off my clothes and shimmied my way into the steaming water.

I understood now while he had filled the tubs with so many bubbles, I couldn't even see my own skin because of the froth.

"You can turn around now."

He turned around with a slight grin on his face and came and sat by me in a chair next to the tub.

I looked at him through a cloud of steam, "Thanks for this. I think this is exactly what my body needed."

He smiled and pulled lightly on my braid that was beginning to unravel in the water.

He sat with me until the water cooled, neither of us brought up the topic of Gale, we both just talked, laughed and even got a little teary eyed over certain memories.

It wasn't until the bubbles started thinning that Peeta turned his back again and extended his arm to hand me a towel.

I was warm and comfortable; something that I always felt when I was with my baker.

I knew I would eventually have to mention what Gale and I talked about, but for now I was wrapped up in Peeta's arms, safe and happy.


	7. Kiss Me

The next morning I woke to find that Peeta had already left, next to my pillow was a small white note.

_Didn't want a repeat of yesterday, hope you don't mind—Peeta._

I smiled, completely understanding where he was coming from. I stretched in the big bed, feeling refreshed for the first time since I could remember.

I decided today was a good day to hunt, to feel free and unrestricted in the serenity of the woods.

I quickly through on some clothes, shot down the stairs and grabbed my father's hunting jacket. The soft leather and musky smell helped propel me out the door.

I walked through District 12, stopping now and then to say hi, or to survey some re-building, when I made it to my old fence, I instinctively stopped and listened for a hum.

I slid underneath the old wire and slipped into the cover of trees.

I stopped once I was far enough inside and took a deep breath, all around me the woods were alive. Birds were singing, animals shifting, running.

This is what I needed.

I needed to think, about what I would tell Gale, about what I would tell myself regarding my feelings to a certain baker.

I ran a few paces and bent down to retrieve my bow from the covered log.

"Needing this?"

I looked up to see Gale a few paces from me, holding my bow and quiver.

"Damn you, Gale, you're too silent for your own good."

"Oh don't pull a hamstring catnip."

At the sound of my old nickname, I smiled… "Hand it over, you're no good with a bow anyway."

"Have you thought anymore about my proposal?"

I sighed; I was secretly hoping he wouldn't bring up this topic today.

Before I could answer he continued, "I know you love Peeta, but you could love me too. We've known each other for so long; it's almost natural for us to fall together."

Love? That was one word I never let myself say or think.

"Admit it, Katniss, you love him… you're just afraid of your feelings. You don't need to be afraid with me."

"Gale, what happened to you understanding that I would never be able to let him go?"

"That was before the war ended, for all I knew at the time, you could have died.. he could have died."

He moved closer to me, "I could have died."

With that he moved in and kissed me firm on the lips, I struggled against his arms, but it was useless. He was a coal miner, with incredibly strong arms.

He pulled away, and I backed away at the same time, "Gale.. Don't."

"Just remember my proposal stands; I'll wait for you every single day."

He turned and left, just as silent as he had come.

I puckered my lips, I could still feel and smell his musky scent, his possessiveness. This entire situation was getting completely out of control.

Instead of hunting, I sat down on my hollow log and braided some grass together, thinking about what I needed to do and or say to Gale.

* * *

After several hours, I emerged from the dense forest, and made a beeline to Haymitch's house.

I didn't bother to knock, I found him at his dining room table, one hand on his forehead, with another hand holding a bottle of liquor.

"Haymitch!"

He gasped, as if he didn't have any air and focused his eyes on me, "Don't you knock?"

"Do you know where Effie is staying?"

"Effie?" He made a gesture as if to describe her wig.

"Why in the world where I know where Effie is staying?"

"Because you and she hate each other, and if I know you well enough, you know exactly where she is, so that you don't have to bump into her."

He chuckled, "She's staying at the rebuilt inn."

Figures, I thought to myself. That was probably the newest thing District 12 had seen in years. The only reason it had been "rebuilt" was because the first building that was called the Inn had completely been obliterated in the blast.

"Thanks for that."

I was turning to leave when he grabbed my arm, "Sit down for a minute."

I frowned at him, but did as he said.

"What's going on between you and Gale?"

"Nothing! Why do you even ask?"

"Why were you kissing him in the woods?"

"How do you even know that?"

"I didn't, you just told me."

I sighed, "I really don't want to discuss this with you, he did the kissing not me."

"Who did the kissing?"

I cringed at the sound of Peeta's voice, I turned around in my chair and saw him standing in the doorway, his face reflected both hurt and confusion.

"Peeta…"

"I think I've heard enough."

With that he turned swiftly on his heel and stormed off.

I glanced at Haymitch for guidance but he just shook his head at me and said, "I would go after him sweetheart."

I nodded and jumped up from the table, when I reached the door I could see Peeta heading to the site of the old mine shafts.

I took off in a run, and after a few moments, rounded a corner and saw him standing in front of the blocked off entrance.

I hated being this close to the mine shaft, I could only imagine that the reason he came here was because he thought I wasn't going to follow.

If I had noticed exactly where he was going, I might have stayed behind… the mind shaft brought back memories of my father, my mother crying and Prim asking me why it had happened.

"Peeta."

"How did he kiss you?"

What? I stood silent for a moment, trying to understand what direction he was going in.

He started again, "I asked, how did he kiss you?" The edge was in his voice and for a moment I was worried he was having another episode.

I took a step back cautiously, but he turned around and grabbed my wrists… he touch was gentle enough for me to know he was still Peeta.

"He was possessive… nothing like you."

I saw a glimpse of happiness spark across his eyes, but it quickly disappeared.

"Kiss me, Peeta"

I heard the words slip from my mouth before I could register saying them.

He didn't need me to say it twice, his lips were on me like they've never been before. Usually Peeta was gentle and sensitive, but these lips were strong, not possessive… but demanding.

He grabbed my arms and pushed me slightly to a nearby post, I backed up until I was resting against the post, and then his hands unleashed on my body.

He was rubbing my arms, grabbing my hair, his lips moved from my mouth to my neck, back to my mouth and so on.

I gave myself completely to him, not afraid to open up. I let his mouth explore new areas.

His hands stayed courteous, and stayed in appropriate areas. His hands were tight on my hips, our bodies melded together.

When he finally let up for air I was panting… I had never been kissed like that in my life. That hunger returned to me and I realized that maybe kissing wouldn't completely satisfied me. I wanted more from him, but was afraid to cross that boundary.

He placed both arms on either side of my head, he was dangerously close, but didn't look like he was going to kiss me again, "I need you in my life Katniss, you're the only thing that makes sense to me anymore."

I nodded again and leaned my forehead against his, "I'll always stay with you."

Enjoy!


	8. The Effect You Have

Thanks everyone for the kind reviews, remember this story is rated M for a reason. Don't want to throw anyone off with coming chapters :D

I knew I needed to speak with Gale, I was going to hand him his ticket and tell him sorry. I made up my mind about what I wanted, and he needed to know that he would always just be a close friend to me, but nothing more.

I found him in our hideaway spot in the woods; he was sitting with his back to me, twirling a piece of bark between his fingers.

"I know why you're here."

I sat down next to him in the tall grass, "Gale, I love you, you're my best friend, and always will be."

"But you can't go with me."

I didn't say anything, just handed him the silver ticket he had given me when he first arrived. He pushed it away from me, "No keep it, just in case you ever need to get away."

I slipped the ticket back into my pocket, "I hope you can understand."

"In time I will."

* * *

I walked slowly back to my house, feeling like I had let my longtime friend down. From a distance I could see Effie, pulling an overly large trunk with her down towards the train station.

"Effie!"

She turned at the sound of her name, and waved me over.

"You're leaving?"

"Gale told me I wasn't needed anymore, and these living conditions don't exactly…" she smiled, "It was nice seeing you though."

"Thanks for coming."

With that she turned and walked the rest of the way toward the station, leaving two little lines in the dirt from the wheels of her luggage.

* * *

I walked the rest of the way to the victor's village and found Peeta sitting outside, painting.

His art work was astonishing, and as I neared he attempted to shoo me away.

"You can't see this one yet, not until it's ready."

"When will it be ready then?"

He picked up the canvas and made his way back toward the doorway, "not until it needs to be."

I smirked at his comment, but left it like that. He wasn't one to keep things from me, so I figured it must be completely important to him.

After properly hiding his work, he led me inside his home and into the kitchen. Then I got to see the master in work.

Peeta didn't let many people watch him bake, or even cook… so I always felt privileged when I was able to witness such a phenomenon.

His hands had such a delicate but firm way with dough, each detail, each crease was perfect. The muscles in his back flexed as he easily kneaded and flattened the dough which was now beginning to take shape.

I watched in silence as his muscles rippled throughout his body, I felt my cheeks grow warm when I wondered if the rest of his body flexed like that.

"Do you want to help?"

I shooed away the subject, but he was determined. I rose with a slight groan and let his skilled hands put my clumsy ones to work.

He helped me mold the outer layer of the pastry we were making; each instruction was careful and precise.

He would grab my hands, and place his over mine. Together we would knead the dough. Finally in the end it was a perfectly shaped loaf.

I smiled at him, proud of my usually useless hands in the kitchen being able to mold something so beautiful.

He popped the loaf in the oven and prepared a kettle of tea.

"While the loaf is baking, you want to sit outside with me?"

I smiled, and let him lead me outdoors. He had constructed a nice sitting area in his small back yard, it consisted of a swinging bench, and several chairs. He chose the bench, and I settled down next to him.

The sun was setting, and I sighed as I watched the first few stars come out.

"Stars always remind me of my father."

He didn't say anything, just let me continue.

"Sometimes at night, after everyone had gone to bed, he would wake me up and bring me outside with him. He used to talk to me about constellations and planets."

I smiled at the memory, "Mainly, I liked spending time with my father, it took me a few years to get used to watching the stars without him after his death."

"But you're okay now?" Peeta chimed in quietly.

I looked at him, the sun illuminating on his blond locks, "I'm okay now."

He leaned in and kissed me, at first it was light and tentative, but my reaction must have encouraged him to continue.

I laced my arms around his neck and pulled him close against me, his lips were gentle, but firm as they explored different areas.

He deepened the kiss and slipped his tongue into my mouth, he tasted like the bakery, of warm bread and pastries.

Kissing with tongues was something new for both of us, and the emotions it stirred inside of me had me wanting more.

"Peeta."

I sighed his name against his lips, and then felt the hard wooden bench beneath my back. He was slowly laying me down on the bench, half of his body now covering mine.

"Let's take this inside." His voice was husky, and full of desire. We made it into the kitchen, our lips never leaving the other.

"Katniss…"

A surge of energy plowed through him and he lifted me onto the flour covered counter, and crawled up after me.

He was now completely on top of me, his hard length against my frail frame.

Flour was coating both of our bodies, and I could taste the white substance in my mouth.

The smell of burning bread distracted us momentarily; Peeta hurriedly jumped off the counter and pulled the slightly burned bread from the oven.

"What is it with you and burning bread?"

He laughed and grabbed me off the counter, making me squeak, I wrapped my arms around my neck and took a deep breath as he climbed the stairs toward his bedroom. I knew where this was headed, and didn't want it to stop.

He closed the door of his bedroom with his foot and carried me to the bed. He laid me down gently and I backed up, giving him room to join me.

He followed me onto the bed, and began kissing me again. His mouth traveled from my mouth to my neck, his hands ran up and down the length of my body.

"Is this okay?"

His question startled me, I had never been with anyone before. I was completely innocent. Kissing was still new for me, but with Peeta, I had this desire and urge to move forward. I almost lost him to the war, and that made me realize that I needed this type of hunger more than anything.

I nodded and paused, I pulled at the back of my braid and let the rubber band loosen it. My hair tumbled across my still clothed shoulders. He seemed to understand the direction I was taking, and kicked off his shoes.

I lay down completely on the bed, and he followed, gently laying his frame on top of mine as his lips found mine once more.

It was a good feeling, having his warm weight on top of mine, I let my hands skim his body as he lips worked magic on my shoulder.

I felt a wave of boldness and let my hands slip under his shirt to caress his hard stomach, I stopped immediately when I heard him groan, he chuckled "No, you don't have to stop, I love when you touch me."

I had never done much touching myself, so I figured he must really be enjoying it. I let my hands slip under his shirt, and began memorizing his body.

His muscles were well defined, his abs strong and cut. Being a baker all of those years had really paid off. I inched the shirt up further, and finally asked him to lift his arms so I could take it off.

I had seen Peeta shirtless before, but never this close. My hands skimmed his body, taking in his lean, muscular frame. I leaned up on one shoulder and kissed the area above his belly button.

Another groan slipped out of his mouth, so I continued my tour.

He sat me straight up, so we were facing eachother. I was basically wrapped around his torso as we faced eachother. He slipped my blouse to the side so it exposed my shoulder and let his lips linger there. His lips found mine again and I could feel his hands bunching the material of my shirt. When I felt cold air on my skin, I realized he has pulled the blouse completely off. Leaving me in just a thin bra.

It was the first time that anyone besides my prep team, or my family had seen me in this little clothing. I ducked my head in modesty, and he raised my chin up with his thumb.

"Don't be afraid of me."

His mouth was back on mine, and he pulled me closer. I had never known such ecstasy as the feeling of his skin on mine.

His hands drifted to my breasts, and for a moment we both froze. I looked into his blue eyes, they were dark with desire and confusion. I kissed him, to let him know I was okay, and he began caressing me.

Even touching me through my thin bra, my body exploded in pleasure. My nipples were taunt and stretched across the thin fabric, and I realized I was mentally begging him to remove the wretched device.

As if reading my mind, Peeta's hand slipped underneath the fabric and lightly caressed me. A moment later my bra was flung across the room, leaving me topless and defenseless in front of him.

He craned his neck back and took me in full view. Once again I tried to turn away, but kept my head forward.

"You're so beautiful."

Beautiful was a new one for me, my body was covered in scars from the war, but I knew that Peeta wasn't judging. I glanced down at his covered legs, remembering when he had lost something valuable to him too.

He kissed me deeply again, and we laid back down on the bed. His hands were everywhere they needed to be, caressing my flat stomach, touching my breasts. I didn't think I knew pleasure until his mouth lightly sucked on my nipple.

"Peeeeeta...!"

He chuckled slightly, and kept his tortuous dance with his lips. Everything was igniting around me, I needed something from him, my body was begging me, but since I had never done this before, I didn't know how to ask him.

I remembered he was new at this too, and started playing with the material at the top of his pants.

He froze for a moment, and looked down at me, "You don't realize the effect you have on me."

I smiled briefly at the memory of our old exchange, knowing this time the effect was completely different.

"Show me what type of effect I have on you."

At that, his mouth was on mine, ravaging me, his hands not considerate and shy anymore, they were touching my body exactly where it wanted to be touched.

"Peeta, please."

I wasn't sure what I was begging for, but I knew that I needed it, and that I needed him.

It took only minutes before we were both unclothed. For the first time I had a glimpse at the man that Peeta really was, and… he was _definitely _a man.

"Do you want this Katniss?"

"Yes…, Peeta, please."

His hands made their way down my legs, touching the soft skin of my thighs. I squirmed with pleasure when he began to caress my inner thigh. My womanhood was pulsating with pleasure, needing to be touched and stroked.

I moaned into his shoulder when I felt one hand slip inside me. I was slick with desire… something entirely new to me.

I looked up at him to see his eyes were closed with pleasure; just the sensation of touching me was enough to bring him to the brink.

When he began moving his hand faster, I couldn't take it. "Peeta, I need all of you."

He went into the position that was old as time itself. I opened my legs, ready for the sensation that I had so many girls talk about.

"Hold on to me, Katniss."

With that he slid home.

I felt tugging and pulling, but no pain. After a moment of adjusting to his body, Peeta began to move slowly… taking his time to explore this feeling that was new to us both.

With every thrust, the pleasure that was still so foreign to me was building. I moaned into his chest, as he pulled me tighter against him.

Moments later I was flying, during my release I heard him groan my name. I think I had yelled his name, but at this moment I didn't care.

* * *

Hours later, in the moonlight haze in his bedroom, he turned softly and whispered.

"You love me, real or not real?"

"Real."

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed! The last part of the chapter was me wanting to incorporate that moment with them from MockingJay into the story.

Thanks for the great reviews!


	9. Author's Note

Authors Note:

Hi guys, I hope your enjoying the story. I had my wisdom teeth removed on Friday, so I'm still recovering.

I have my new chapter almost completed, but it's been a slow process.

Hopefully it will be done by tomorrow or Tuesday. Thanks and I hope you guys are enjoying!

-Stephanie


	10. The Surprise

Making love with Peeta was an entirely new feeling in its own.

We had first been together a week ago, and now we had been together anywhere we could be alone. My house, his house, the meadow…Even the bakery.

My cheeks burned with the thought of doing something so personal where he worked.

Now we lay tangled in each other's limbs, on a soft blanket under the stars in the meadow.

Our bodies were still damp with exertion, and a permanent smile was glued to his face.

He turned and looked down at me while he was propped up on his elbow; his fingers were twirling strands of my hair. He had never looked happier.

"I love you."

I whispered the words quietly, I hadn't actually said those three words until now, and the impact weighed heavily on my heart.

He smiled and rolled on top of me, pinning me back on the blanket. I could feel the blades of grass gently poking me through the fabric.

I laughed out loud and stared directly into his eyes, "You have no idea how much I love you." He murmured.

With that he kissed me, deeply.

His body pressed lightly into mine, and even though we had just been together, my body was already on fire for him.

"Peeta…"

He smiled and began kissing down my body, "Don't worry beautiful… I'm not going anywhere."

I practically pounced around my house while doing some chores the next day. Peeta was at work, promising a surprise.

I wanted to go hunting, but I figured in my giddy mood, I would distract and scare more animals than I could capture.

I even sang a few notes at buttercup, who meowed at me in a strange fashion.

This was the first time since I could remember that I was this happy. I remember quick moments of happiness in my life before my father died. At those times we also had to worry about when our next meal was.

Everyone in District 12 had enough food to eat now, it was in full abundance, and I didn't think that would change anytime soon.

Peeta and I ate a quiet dinner at his home, he would sneak a look at me occasionally, and I wondered what was going on in his mind.

He seemed nervous, and almost unlike himself. It finally bothered me enough to ask, "Peeta, is something bothering you?"

He smiled nervously dug into his pocket and produced a small piece of paper, "I told you I had a surprise."

I opened the note and looked at a well drawn picture of a house. It was two stories, painted dark blue, white shutters and primrose plants surrounding the perimeter.

My eyes watered momentarily when I thought of the significance of the plant, and then I glanced back up at him, "What is this?

"Our home, if you would like it to be."

I looked down at the paper once more, the intricate details; everything made sense to me, "Our home?"

"We could build something, get out of these…" he glanced around searching for the right word, "Victor home… they were given to us because it proved we could be murderous, I want something built that shows love."

He grabbed my hand lightly, "I understand if this is too much… I just want you to know that this is a vision I want for us one day."

"Can we build it in the meadow?"

His eyes went wide, and he squeezed my hand tighter, "Are you saying that this is okay? You want to move in together in a home we build?"

"Can we start tomorrow?"

Peeta laughed and lunged happily across the table at me. We knocked the chair to the ground with a bang, but it was barely noticeable through the feeling of happiness that overwhelmed us both.

"I thought you were going to laugh in my face, tell me building a house was going to far… that you weren't ready."

"Peeta, I wasn't sure if I was ready when we were first together, I've never felt so many different emotions before.

I smiled up at him, 'But look how it has turned out… we're together, and that's what matters."


	11. I will not be afraid

Our sweet child—taken from us at such a young age. I could see her smiling at me and Peeta… letting us know it would be alright. I couldn't let this happen—I would fight for her like I fought for Prim.

I woke with a scream on my lips—Peeta instantly had his arms around me—shushing me.

"Katniss.. Katniss, It's okay—I'm here, I won't let anything happen to you."

I glanced over at him, the moonlight was casting a bluish haze across the bedroom.

"You haven't had a nightmare in a while, maybe I'm not doing my best job in protecting you." He smiled at me lightly, trying to get me to say something—or at least smile.

"What was your dream about anyway?"

I sat for a moment, remembering the curly blonde hair of my dream child.

"Nothing" I paused for a moment and squeezed his hand "nothing that I can remember now anyway."

He seemed satisfied enough with my answer and helped me lay back down.

The dream stuck with me for a few days, and even though I was supposed to be celebrating a happy time in my life—I was preoccupied.

I knew Peeta could tell, and finally confronted me about it.

We were sitting on a blanket in the meadow, and the stars were just beginning to twinkle when he spoke up, "Is this about us?"

I was so confused as to what he meant that I almost dropped the grapes I was eating.

"Is what about us?"

"You haven't been yourself these past few days, and I was worried we were moving too fast."

He pointed with his shoulder at the broken dirt near us—we had already started the groundbreaking process on our new home.

"No, Peeta—I can't wait for our home to be complete… I'm just worried about something."

"Worried? About what? I'm here Katniss, for you to talk to—you need to let me in."

I looked down at my fingers, were I was twirling a grape... "I know."

"Well?"

"What if everything we've done…. The lives we changed, what if everything goes back to the way it was?"

I looked up to see a confused look on his face and continued, "I can't let things go back to normal, I can't just pretend like everything's normal."

"What's this about? What changed within the past week that has you so frightened?"

"What if we have children and they get taken from us? It will be just like losing Prim again."

I dropped the grape in my hand and slumped over, I needed to be honest with him.

He sat silent for a moment and then ran a hand along my cheek bone.

"I love you, Katniss Everdeen… and you need to know how big of an impact you had on this world."

He tilted my chin up to look at him, "Nothing will ever change; nothing will ever happen… you're the Mockingjay—and you won't go down without a fight."

I saw his eyes crinkle in a smile, "Plus everyone is too dammed scared of you anyway."

I laughed for the first time since my dream, and he tackled my lightly to the blanket.

"I'm not scared of you though, I know who _you_ really are."

I smiled as he bent down to kiss me lightly, "I know your fears, I know your triggers." He kissed me lightly between every word causing the grin on my face to get to a ridiculous size.

"I know this body."

With that he kissed me full on the mouth, his body shifting lightly so that he was pressing his gentle weight on me.

I couldn't resist Peeta—no matter how hard I tried to block him out. He was right; he was the first person in my life that had actually gotten to know me.

He knew what I was afraid of, and he knew what to do to make me feel better.

He kissed me harder, demanding more from me—and I directed his hands to the hem of my pants.

When Peeta entered me, I knew everything would be fine. How could two people fit so perfectly with each other?

How could two people be cast into such darkness, and emerge with this kind of love?

His thrusts became harder, and I screamed his name in release.

I wouldn't be afraid anymore.

* * *

Haymitch joined us outside as we stopped to admire the work that had been done on our house. Peeta and I spent long days, hammering, painting and sanding.

I didn't feel like our house would ever be complete, but today—the frame of the house stood, and for the first time our home had a shape.

"It's looking good."

Haymitch nudged my shoulder and I smiled at him.

"It's definitely because of this one." He winked at me and then grinned at Peeta.

"Ha, oh Haymitch give him some credit—he's lifting everything for me… I'm just sanding a lot."

"Oh right, right… I'm just a labor boy—I see."

Peeta smiled at me from under the bright sun, his shirt was drenched in sweat, and sawdust was running throughout his blonde locks.

"You really like it though Haymitch?"

Haymitch grunted next to me… "It'll be the best thing this town has seen—before the 74th Hunger Games that is."

"Why do you say that?"

"This is the home of the Mockingjay, Katniss—without you and Peeta, and everyone—we wouldn't be building a home like this."

He stopped and kicked a loose piece of wood on the ground, "It's more than a house—it's a symbol of what you have gone through."

"That's very insightful for you, Haymitch- I'm surprised."

Haymitch glared at Peeta, "I'll have you know a lot of good comes out of me."

"I'm sure that's what Effie says too." Peeta mumbled under his breath.

It was now a little known fact that Haymitch and Effie had a little something more going on between them—what had started as hatred—has turned into something else.

Peeta and I hadn't seen any proof of it yet, but Haymitch regularly made trips out of town—and each destination was always where Effie was staying.

I was glad Haymitch didn't hear Peeta—I didn't feel like taking anyone to the hospital today.

* * *

Later in the day, Peeta and I walked hand-in-hand to our victor homes. He told me he was going to take a quick shower, and then he would come over to start dinner.

He kissed me quickly, and told me that if I was still in the shower by the time he arrived—he was joining me.

I made a mental note to wait for a few minutes before showering—and giggled walking back to my house.

Once inside, I noticed one of the windows was cracked—and a light draft was blowing through the house.

I stopped and was about the reach for my bow—when a hard object hit my head.

I remember hitting the ground—and watching a pair of boots walk in front of me.

"I didn't ask for you to knock her out."

"Well, she would have killed us if I hadn't… plus he just wants her alive."

"What about the blonde one?"

I heard the blinds rustle, and then the deep voice again, "We can leave in time, before he comes over… pick her up, and remember to grab that silver ticket."

_Silver ticket? Isn't that the one Gale gave me?_

I felt a pair of arms pick me off the ground… the last words that left my mouth were "Peeta."

**I'm sorry for the delay everyone! I promise to update this story more often. I've had a busy everything—I was in a bad car accident, and had to go through physical therapy, I also moved—and got a new job.**

**Life has been nuts, but writing is also my passion—and this story is one that I've been wanting to continue for a long time.**

**Enjoy!**


End file.
